Moment In Time

In a brief moment of time, my life changed. I must confess to you here and now something I find extremely incredible. In everyone’s life there come a singular moment that defines their existence. I just had mine.

I didn’t plan on it, no one really does. For I just killed a man.

Simple words to say. Only I’m not just saying them, I am feeling their impact. I actually extinguished a man’s life with my own two hands. The look on his face as the knife entered between his ribs and the warmth of the blood rushing over my hand can not be easily described. Any vain attempt would only lessen the impact. I can give you only the tiniest details of my feelings as I felt his soul leave his body, as his eyes lost their sparkle. Sounds echoing in my mind, tearing flesh, gasping breath, pounding heart. It was not as I would have expected.

I didn’t think he would lunge after my throat. I figured he would use what ever strength he had left to save himself, but he didn’t. In his final moments he could only think of retribution and revenge. He would have rather seen me dead then save himself. At that moment I saw and understood the basic element that makes up mankind. I understood there and then that we are all just animals, some a little more refined then others, but animals all the same. We have basic desires and needs, and we need to supply them to live. To live without our desires is to only just exist.

So with his blood on my hands I stood back and looked down on his lifeless body. No remorse, no sorrow, no grief. I actually then felt a warm feeling come over my body. I actually felt my adrenaline surging through my body. My life now had it’s desire, I no longer just existed, I had a life. My life was now to be spent in the pursuit of extinguishing the life of others. If my school guidance councilors could see me now. I don’t think this was one of the selections they had in mind.